is for yardstick.
About a month ago, I spent the day at a workshop at church called Spiritual DNA. During this program, the participants were led through a variety of sessions and exploratory discussions to better understand what makes us uniquely ourselves. Based on a variety of assessments I took prior to the workshop, I was able to delve deeper into understanding my personality type, where my spiritual gifts rest, and how I most desire to serve. Just the other night, I pulled out my folder from Spiritual DNA and was looking back at one of my personality assessments; my results were certainly spot on. I am very much a peacekeeper who desires to nurture others while avoiding conflict or tension. While there are a number of traits within my personality type that are beneficial to myself and others around me, it is important to be aware of the weaknesses that we must overcome as well. For example, understanding that conflict creates much disquietude in my life and that maintaining well-being is very important to me, I find that I can easily slip into a routine of looking to others for their opinions and feelings and then adjusting my actions accordingly in order to avoid making waves. While this approach can be helpful in many settings, it can also lead to a trap that many are apt to fall into: the yardstick mentality.
Do you too find yourself measuring yourself and your actions based on those around you before responding accordingly? Perhaps instead you have fallen into the trap of looking first and foremost to the significant individuals in your life for affirmation and confirmation of your worth. What I call "the yardstick mentality" (measuring something in your life based on the views, reactions, and actions of others) can, I think, be found in the lives of nearly every individual in some form and to varying degrees. The question lies, then, with how we might approach this mindset and replace it with a healthier lens.
Let me show you where my heart turns in addressing this matter. As a follower of Christ, it is first and foremost crucial to remember that above all else, my identity is in Him. I am His daughter, His dearly loved child. See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1) When I wrap my mind around that thought, I find that it is truly extraordinary. My Creator, my Lord, and my God loves me as His child, unconditionally and with no bounds. When I measure myself and respond through my actions based on His view of me, everything changes. In fact, we find the faultiness in measuring against human opinions and standards that are unlike God's view of His children. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) If we continually look to those around us, it's as if we were using the wrong measuring tool! I wouldn't use a cup measure to find the length of an object. So then we must stop measuring ourselves and our lives so inaccurately time and again. And what of those of us who shy from conflict and tension whenever possible? On one hand, this can be a great strength. Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." (Matthew 5:9) However, if I'm measuring situations continually based on others, it can be unhealthy in some cases. I have not been called to be cowardly or weak. With Christ as my foundation, I am reminded that I needn't fear the opinions or reactions of others. If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31) May you and I find a balance between the beautiful qualities that God has given us to love and interact with one another and the ways in which these can cause us to fall. I break the yardstick of measuring against others and remember who I am. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline. (1 Timothy 1:7) Let us be bold in who we each are and who He has created us to be.
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