Still

Today is the first day of May which means that the last leg of the school year has arrived.  It reminds me a bit of last spring when I ran a half marathon; mile 1 was a breeze, mile 5 I was feeling great, mile 8 I was pushing through, but when I got to mile 12 I was wiped.  I had been going, moving, shuffling, pushing onward, and I was tired.  This seems to be the conundrum of my life lately.  I love to go, to be with people, to embrace life and its fullness instead of sitting at home.  So I plan, I write down dates and times in my calendar, and I go go go.  And then I'm simply tired.  Okay, time to slow down the pace a bit, I tell myself.  I leave blanks squares in my planner, days that are only committed to work and no evening plans.  Yet even as I plop down on the couch on such an evening, my mind races as I reach for the notepad on my living room table.  I begin making a to-do list: laundry, grade papers, finish lesson plans, etc.  After all, if I'm going to be at home I should probably use that time wisely, right?  It turns out that this is not really very restful either and, although my body feels repose, my mind races and paces.  What my heart desires is truly not a furious pace masked as relaxation.  Instead, I must tell myself, Be still my soul.

I am meditating on two verses that I'm letting my heart embrace in this:

And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.  (Genesis 2:2)

He had done work, but there was a time for the work to be done and rest away from it to occur.  I too have work/tasks to attend to, yet there is a time to lay them aside and simply find respite.

Be still, and know that I am God... (Psalm 46:10)

This one's a favorite.  I love this because it gives two commands.  The first is the one I desire so much, and the second one knocks me back a few feet.  First, be still.  Quit worrying about the demands and the whirlwind of activity that can take precedence.  Be still.  That's pretty hard though, right?  Because I can really let my body and mind be still, but what about all those things that we're letting go?  ...and know that I am God...  That one's pretty much a smack in the face of my ego.  Those other things; they're actually not all that important.  Christ is the The One who deserves my attention, my meditation, my thoughts, and my focus a zillion times more than a silly daily demand does.  And you know, so what if I drop the ball and don't get all those other things done?  So what if someone's a little upset that I said no to this or that activity.  That's alright. 

Rest.  Be quiet.  Be still and know, be still my soul.