Every Moment, Breathe It In

I just hate it when I get very busy or a tad too stressed or maybe even just desensitized to the miraculousness of life. It makes me sad when I realize that I didn't take time to soak in the beauty of a piece of nature or slow down long enough to have a conversation with a friend or acquaintance. It's disappointing to notice that I sang a song at church and didn't accept an opportunity to let the world fade out and let words of praise lift me to a secret place of worship.

Whatever promises or resolutions we may make, no matter the phrases and the wise proverbs we might pass from generation to generation, it's simply human nature. An excuse, though, is still an excuse. Summer break is simply days away, and I can't wait to take the opportunity to live each day to the fullest. I absolutely love that God has blessed me with a career as a teacher. It's an absolutely rewarding experience to work with my students each day. Nonetheless, some down time and rest is good for the soul and will rejuvenate my excitement to begin another year in August.....so bring on the summer. I'm giddily anticipating time spent with two of my best college friends from out of town. It's one of those friendships that picks up exactly where you last left off....I absolutely love it. I will get a taste of the dearly loved familiarity of church camp this summer with a slight twist. I unfortunately won't get to be a cabin leader the elementary week that I am typically there; however, I will instead get to show lots of God's love to fifth and sixth graders at ICBC for a week! I also will get to throw in a short weekend session at First Timers' camp with the adorable little kiddos. I'm equally excited to attend a writing conference and various technology/teaching workshops here and there. Who can forget about the summer flower fields? Instead of working in the city at a part time job, I promised my dad that I would come home a few days here and there to help out and work for him in the flowers. Nothing like some good old-fashioned hard work to make you feel like you've had a noteworthy day. Wrapped all around these wonderful experiences and moments that I am ready to embrace with intention, purpose, and attention, I can't wait to sit and watch the sunset with my boyfriend at his new patio furniture. I am so looking forward to hearing the sounds of crickets chirping out in the country when I visit home. I'm eagerly awaiting the taste of ice cream and the exciting explosion of 4th of July fireworks in the sky above me. I'm ready to slow down for a bit and embrace the tiniest details of the beautiful life that I have been given.

Reflecting Inward First

As is the monthly tradition at my church, communion was taken today toward the end of our service. I find communion to be a very beautiful and mysterious activity, one which I feel is shared amongst myself and fellow believers surrounding me yet is also a very private and real moment of reflection and thanksgiving between me and God. Our time of communion today followed the pastor's message on the beginning of the book of Jonah. I was very touched by his teaching today because he really helped me make some personal connections to a story that had always seemed a little bit distant to me. (God calls Jonah to take a message to the evil city of Ninevah. Jonah doesn't want to go, runs from God, is thrown overboard, and is swallowed by a giant fish. Jonah realizes the mistake he has made in running from God's calling in his life and is given another chance.) As the pastor spoke, he helped me realize that virtually everyone has run from God in some form or fashion at one point or another in their lives. This combination between the message and a time of reflection in communion really made me think. It is so easy for us as humans to locate the flaws in another's character. "I can't believe he told a lie right to my face!" or "She really has no control over her words. I can't believe she said that." Yet just as I recently reminded my students, when you are pointing at someone else, you have four fingers pointing back at you. Today reminded me that it should be my priority to recognize areas in my life that I can improve on instead of sweeping them under the rug or worrying about anyone else. We can't ignore them and keep running away from this recognition. I also don't think we should be ashamed that we each have areas of weakness or ugly places in our lives that need fixing. The older I get and the more of life I live, the more I realize that people who act like they have it all together 100% of the time are just really good actors. We are all human and I am deciding that I am going to be real. I'm going to reflect inward first and not pretend that it's all perfect. I'm going to find those places that needs His refining and let the beautiful work begin...